A Fashionista I'm NOT!

"Fashion is what you're offered four times a year by Designers.  Style is what you choose."--Lauren Hutton.

Let's be perfectly clear, I'm NOT a fashionista!  I do enjoy flipping through fashion magazines, going out on Pinterest, and seeing what the latest "Celebs" consider to be fashionable.  But no matter what is in fashion bottom line I'm gonna wear what I can afford and what is comfortable and looks good on me.  I'm in my fifties and I'm a few pounds heavier than I'd like to be.  I'm working on the weight thing but in the mean time it DOES NOT mean that I can't look stylish in the process right?!?

My sense of style leans toward classic looks.  I may have a trendy piece here or there added in for interest but I feel if I'm going to purchase something then I'd like to be able to wear it more than a season or two.  Most of the outfits I will be putting together on "Manic Monday's" are between $50-$100 for the entire ensemble.

I shop sales, I use coupons, I go thrifting, but I'm not a shopaholic.  I will often come across things when I have to shop for others.  Honestly I hate the whole clothing shopping process to be truthful.  I HATE trying on clothes and fighting crowds but I do love scoring an awesome piece of clothing at a great price!  Also I'm the type if I see a style or brand that I like I will sometimes get a couple in different colors.  I like to stay with what "works" for me.

I will list my daily picks and list the cost if they were somewhat recent purchases, (in the last year or two) and I'll list the brands and where I purchased the items.  Keep in mind I have had some items for YEARS!  Classic pieces never go out of style and if you take care of your clothes and also the items are of good quality they will last!  And yes you can fine bad quality from Walmart to Macy's but you can find good quality too, you just have to know what to look for.  But that subject I will cover in another blog down the road.

Monday:  Black and White Floral Sundress by Croft & Barrow  19.99 on clearance at Kohl's.  Faded Glory Black sandals 9.99 at Walmart.  Gold necklace & bracelet (gift) and pearl drop earrings 5.99 Amazon.

Tuesday:  Yellow Polo shirt by Croft & Barrow 7.99 on clearance at Kohl's.  I bought four in different colors because the price was so cheap.  Brown shorts by Dockers 9.99,  Simply Vera Brown sandals $17.99, Gold hammered bracelet and earrings 12.99 all from Kohl's.

Wednesday:  Red & White Paisley Button down shirt by Chadwicks $19.99, Style & Co boyfriend Capris $19.99 from Macy's, Ruby shoes by Ollio from Amazon, White Drop Earrings 5.00 from Kohl's.

Thursday:  Navy Polo by Faded Glory from Walmart $5.99, Croft & Barrow Seersucker navy stripe Capris $9.99 at Kohl's, Silver "ball" necklace from Maurice's , Silver Teardrop Earrings from Coldwater Creek, Navy & White striped Shoes by Dexflex $19.99 at ShopKo on sale.

Friday:  Smithville Warrior T-Shirt $12.99 from our local grocery store and it is well made and one of my favorite "Warrior" shirts!  Style & Co Capris from Macy's, ID bracelet (gift from my HS graduation 35 years ago!) and silver earrings $10.00 Maurice's and Black shoes e 360 by Easyspirit $15.99.

Until I come up with a better method I have one jewelry drawer divided using old jewelry boxes with the days written to keep my pieces organized until I'm ready to wear them.  I also have a hook on my closet door where I will be hanging my outfits until the day that I need them.

Day 11 Organization is Key....

"I've learned time management, organization and I have priorities."--Tory Burch
My goal for this blog is to be informative, inspiring, helpful with a splash of humor tossed in for good measure.  I have quickly discovered that to type a blog everyday is a challenge and one that I quickly found out I'm not going to be able to do on a daily basis.  So I'm hoping to post at least 3-4 times a week instead of everyday.  I don't want this blog to just be random thoughts for the purpose of posting something...anything!  I'd like to have my blog serve a purpose, to entertain and inform.  So I'm organizing my posts to be the following subjects:

Manic Mondays will be posts of comfortable and affordable work outfits that I have thrown together for the week.

Weigh In Wednesdays will be tracking my personal exercise and weight loss for the week and I'll share some yummy recipe ideas here and there too.

Thrifty Thursdays will be sharing some creative and thrifty ways to get things for my home, classroom or things for myself and family without breaking the bank!

FLYLADY Fridays will be occasional posts from "The FLYLADY and her books or website to help offer organizational hints for all us very busy Moms and Teachers out there in blog land.  I just love her and feel I must share her fab ideas!

Every post will have a quote.  I like to share quotes because I think they can inspire and often make you think about things....much like poetry just shorter and a bit easier to understand.  :).

My OCD has encouraged me to "organize" my blog so that it's not just daily random thoughts.  Oh I may occasionally throw some in every once in awhile if it's something that is important to me and I think you would be interested to read it.  But mostly I think I'll stick to the above mentioned format, I don't want to miss out on any family time because I'm stuck on my computer thinking what to write about!  😊

Day 10 Traffic Jam....

"Stop a moment, cease your work, and look around you."--Thomas Carlyle

Ever been stuck in a Traffic Jam?  I've lived in St Louis, Missouri most of my adult life.  I know traffic jams all to well!  Now I live in Smithville, Missouri which is about 20 minutes north from downtown Kansas City, Missouri.  My morning commute to work is approximately 8 minutes, that's it.  But believe it or not even living in a small town surrounded by farm country I still get stuck in traffic jams.  The jams are different from the interstate or downtown city type traffic jams with cars and trucks bumper to bumper that most people would bring to mind.  I've been stuck behind tractors, men on horses, garbage trucks and geese, yes geese have no knowledge of time, unless they are trying to migrate somewhere.  Initially getting stuck behind said situations that create the traffic jams usually would cause a level of stress for me.  Not in an anger sort of way but I can defiantly tell the old blood pressure goes up a notch. I normally am always early to work so even if my "commute" lasts longer then 8 minutes I am always on time.  Why I feel this stress I'm unsure.  Is it the loss of control?  Is it because it effects  how early I was planning to get to work?  I don't know.

Last Thursday morning my daughter and I were "stuck in traffic" behind a tractor.  A truck in front of us was "gunning" his truck to try to pass going up a hill.  I used this man's poor driving to point out to my daughter who is currently learning to drive that his move to pass going up hill was a dangerous decision.  We also talked about how disrespectful the truck driver was honking his horn at the farmer on his tractor.  We have so much to thank farmers for, their hard work 24/7, the food that makes its way to our tables and one of the oldest professions in history is farming.

I have such fond memories of growing up on a farm in Wisconsin.  If you want to truly see God's beauty, go to Wisconsin farm country.  The summer days are warm and the nights are cool.  The rolling rocky hills, green grass and fields, the skies are blue and fluffy white clouds shaped in all things imagined with the hint of pine in the air.  That's what I remember growing up on our farm.  Dad and Mom called it "The 4/B Ranch", named after my siblings and I who's names all begin with "B".  When I think back to my happiest memories they always take me back to the farm years.  Besides my marriage to my husband and the birth of my three children, the farm in Wisconsin were my fondest memories.  Don't get me wrong, it was hard work and there was always work to be done.  But we also had a lot of fun!  Riding horses in the summer and riding snowmobiles in the winter.  Our farm and the land it was on was our playground.  It was a beautiful farm.  It is a beautiful memory.

My daughter and I were able to see a most beautiful sunrise following behind the farmer on his tractor,  I wonder if we would have noticed it if we hadn't been stuck in our little "Traffic Jam?"

Day 9 Moms' Night Out...

"I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection.  Excellence, I can reach for;  perfection is God's business."--Michael J. Fox

As a Christian woman I feel Blessed.  Does that mean that things come easy?  No! Does that mean I never make mistakes?  No!  Does that mean that God is right there beside me through all my struggles and all my goof ups?  ABSOLUTLY!

A few weeks ago while camping my hubs and daughter and I watched a movie titled "Moms' Night Out."   It was hysterical, we laughed a lot but  it also hit home for me.  There is a scene where the main character's husband comes home with flowers on Mothers Day to give to his wife, only to find a trail of empty chocolate wrappers leading to their walkin closet.  There on the floor of the closet eating chocolate and watching an Eagle Cam is his wife,  a crying, tired mess.  At that moment in the movie my daughter turns to me and said, "Mom you've never done that have you?"   I smiled at her and said "sadly yes more times then I'd like to admit."  My daughter said, "but why Mommy your a good mom."  I smiled at her and said "I'm glad you think so but just two days ago you said I was the worse mom ever!"  That remark seems to come out of most teenagers mouths during those moments when you aren't giving them the answer they are wanting to hear.

Being a mom is hard, being a good mom is a lot harder!  And yes I have sought the comfort of a walkin closet to cry, calm myself  and gather my composure before going back out to my family after I have felt I've failed them in some particular moment. You can't go to the bathroom....that's the first place they go looking for you!  But the closet, no one looks for you in a closet!  :)

I've been told that I am a good mom.  But in all honesty there's times when I feel I fall short.  Why do I feel this way?  And I know I'm not the only mom who feels this way.  Friends and family members have made the same remarks to me that they feel they aren't as good of moms as they think they could be.  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Are we expecting ourselves to be perfection?  My three children are happy, healthy and carving their way in the world.  The boys have families of their own raising their children (and doing a great job at it) and they both have wonderful wives.  I AM Blessed to be able to see their successes, I AM Blessed that we all enjoy getting together, I AM Blessed to feel the love and family unity I feel when we are all together, but I KNOW this!   Yet I still feel like I've not been the best mom I could be.  I guess I should heed my own advice.  I recently had a conversation with a single mother, she is a hard working amazing mother!  But she was beating herself up, I told her that she is doing a lot more things right than she was giving herself credit for, she was being to hard on her self.  I tried to help her look at all the positive things she was doing for her child.

I was told a long time ago by my Pastor's wife that raising children was "a hope and a prayer."  There is so much truth in that statement!  I have repeated that statement to several moms I've had indepth discussions about parenting with.  I just need to keep reminding myself of that same statement.....I hope to strive to be an "excellent" mother and I pray that God gives me the "perfection" to do it well!  And I think my mom friends and I need to plan an occasional "Moms' Night Out" because us Moms really do need to stick together and support each other.  It really IS the hardest and most important job we will ever do!  And I plan on sharing that movie with all my mom friends too!

Let's Get Physical....

Day 8:  "The roads we take are more important than the goals we announce.  Decisions determine destiny."--Frederick Speakman

I know I need to be healthier.  I know I need to lose weight.  Not want NEED!  I don't care to look like I'm in my 20's, 30's or 40's. I'm not at all trying to keep up with my skinny girlfriends, who by the way complain that they are fat when they really aren't.  I just shake my head like REALLY, your like a size 2 and 5 and you think you girls have a weight problem?  I'm in my 50's and proud of that.  I'm not wanting to be "skinny" I just want to be healthy and I do want to "feel" better.  I was on track to doing that, I had lost 14 lbs doing Crossfit and I had dropped a couple sizes in clothes and then I had a terrible time over the winter health wise.  I had gotten sick and just could not shake it.  Being sick over the winter months took a toll on my body both physically and mentally. I have gained back the 14 plus 10!  I'm now back to feeling better and energy wise I feel not great but better. I'm mentally ready to begin a workout regimen.  I don't want to jump in all gung ho and injure myself so I'm taking it slow.  My goal is to begin walking 2 miles three times a week for about a month.  After that I'm hoping that I can join my hubs and go back to doing Crossfit.  I would like to do Crossfit 3 times a week and walk 2 times a week, well at least that's my ultimate goal!

A year ago last July I asked, no I begged my husband to come with me to our friends open house for their newly opened Crossfit Gym, aka "Box."  After Christmas I got sick I had to stop per Drs orders and it has been hard to get up the energy since then to go to Crossfit.  Also the extra weight I had put on during  a winter of lots of bed rest after coming home from work and no exercise has not only taken a toll on my energy but physically I'm just in bad shape.  My husband has been going faithfully ever since the first day he started.  He has lost 25 pounds and has muscle tone that he never use to have.  He has lost almost all of his belly and I can tell he has tons of energy.  He has inspired me to try to get back to working out.  I want to feel better, have more energy and working out also helped me to sleep better at night.  I also feel working out gave me a sense of calmness, weird I know but it did.

So yesterday to begin my journey on getting back into the "swing of things" I went to the local High School track and walked approximately 2 miles.  I say approximately because I was walking with a co worker and we got to talking about our children and lost track of how many times we went around! I do know we did at least 7-8 times around the track though! LOL But the bottom line I did take the first step to begin my journey to get healthy.

I'm working my way through the book THE CARB NITE SOLUTION by John Kiefer, BA, MS and when I finish, which I hope to do by the end of next week, I plan on implementing that diet into my workout plan.  I will share my journey good and bad to see if I can finally be determined enough to get healthy!

Day 1:  Walked 2 miles, weight 177, yes I did just post that for all the world to see...I want to be held accountable for my weight loss journey and part of that is owning it!  I also know that as a person, I'm more than my dress size and a number on the scale.  I'm not concerned about looking "cute" in a swimsuit.  I want to be healthy and feel good and have more energy, period.  If looking "cute" in an outfit is a side benefit than so be it, but it is not my motivation.

I'm not brave enough to post a picture of me in a swimsuit but here's a picture of me taken by my daughter last week.  For the record "thick or thin" I've never been one who likes getting my picture taken.  My husband says I need to get over that because my great grandchildren should know what "Nona" looks like after I'm gone one day :). I must mention that I am motivated and inspired by 3 women currently who are on their own journey to get healthy.  The first is my daughter in law who has a full time job as a teacher, is a mother to a small child and is probably one of THE busiest people I know....did I mention she has TWO Master Degrees which she got after becoming a momma!  She gets up at 4-4:30 am during the week to workout....THAT is dedication!  She is working hard and it shows, her face just has that healthy glow and she has lost a good amount of weight too.  She looks AMAZING!  My other 2 women are co workers who aren't doing anything special, just portion control and mostly walking.  Their progress has been steady and gradual and the results also have been amazing.  These two women also have very busy lives.  So I have been inspired to take that first step to a healthier lifestyle.  Please wish me luck and encouragement on my journey......

Day 7: Being Connected

"How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity."--Psalms 133:1

Today in my PreK/Kinder class the lesson was about The Universe.  Trying to help "Little Darlings" understand how big and vast the Universe,  is a daunting task.  I even quoted Buzz Lightyear, "To infinity and beyond!"  But honestly the thought is more than likely hard for even an adult to understand just how big the Universe really is.   It goes on and doesn't stop, to infinity and beyond.

We are just a small speck in this vast universe but we all play a part.  We touch each other's lives, either directly or perhaps indirectly.  Teaching a child that they can make a difference in this world is difficult.  So many are still at the age of "me" or "I want this" or "I want that."  To try to get them to think beyond their self is interesting at best and challenging at most. So as a teacher just how do I try?   I love the Montessori Lesson where you use the "Pink Tower" as a way of showing a child how they are part of the Universe.  You use the ten blocks stacking them from largest to smallest.  The Universe is the room you are in.  I explain that as far as you can see is the Universe.  I use the biggest pink block as the Galaxy.  The. next biggest block is the Solar System, the Earth, then North America, The United States of America, the state of Missouri, the town of Smithville, the street their home is, then their family and the smallest Block is the child.  It gives the "Darlings" a visual of the speck of them in contrast to the Universe.  We also made wax paper universes.  Each one was unique and as individual as each child is.  We also discussed that we are an important unique part of our Universe.  We all play an important role in not only our own life but the lives of others.

Although I'm not allowed to teach religion, I am a Christian and I feel that God's spirit has the ability to connect us all.  I can't quote scripture in class but I am allowed to quote Buzz Lightyear, "To Infinity and beyond!"  And show it with the Montessori Pink Tower!

Day 6 Be Gentle....

"What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours!  So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp."---Marjorie Holmes

I tend to be very critical of myself.  This can cause me some stress at times.  I need to be gentle with myself.  I'm sure I need to be more gentle with others too.  The Lord inspires me to be a gentler, kinder and compassionate person.  It's easy to be this way with the children I teach, it's hard for me to be this way with adults and myself at times.

I'm sitting here this morning the house is quiet and I'm enjoying a cup of coffee.  I love my family, I'm proud of my three children and the adults they have become.  I love my job as a PreK Montessori teacher and Executive Director at the school I teach.  Why do I feel so unsettled at times with myself?  Is it because I'm am older and I know time is marching on and my life on this earth is limited?  I want to leave a mark on this earth.  I want to do good.  I want to be important to the people around me, not in a famous way but in a way that when they think of me they smile.

My job does place me in a position of being able to touch the lives of little ones.  I've not added up the students I've taught but if I include all the years I taught Sunday School it's probably about 200? Nothing fills my heart more than the hugs and "I love you, Ms Brenda" from my students.  It's pure and impulsive and honest.  I'm not Mommy, Daddy or Grandma and Grandpa.....I'm their teacher, for many students their first teacher.  But their emotions are genuine.  I hope in some small way that I am doing good and am important to them even if just for a little while.  I am Blessed to be able to have a job where I can see the smiles and joys of a child writing for the first time or reading for the first time.  Those "light bulb" moments when they finally get the Math lesson we have been working on or the amazing look of wonderment from watching an experiment in Science.  I'm touching little lives in little ways I pray my students AND their parents will look back at the PreK years they spent at the Montessori and think of Ms Brenda as kind, compassionate and gentle.  I hope my name will bring a smile to their face.